Conflicted

I am having an internal struggle.

Mommy vs. Social Worker

Today is the first day of school for kids everywhere. Working in an elementary school, today is hands down the most exciting day of work all year long. Even though the first few hours are generally spent pulling kindergartners out of vehicles and assuring their parents that they (the kids) will be okay...I love the first day of school. As a mom, I stare at the clock all day long. Checking the time until the next feeding. Seeing how long it has been since her last nap. And making sure she gets in a solid 15-20 minutes of tummy-time. Well, it was not far off from 1:30pm when I realized that I had already spoke with our EBD teacher, both social workers, our behavior planning room specialist, and a social worker from another school who has one of my previous students. From home, I had put in a good two hours of work. Half while Hannah was sleeping and half while giving my right arm a workout as I ran from computer to my work notes and back to the computer. The point of this story is that I have been working quite a bit since being on maternity leave. The fact that I have been working this much is 100% my own fault. So we come to the point of being conflicted.

Mommy vs. Social Worker

I have come to the realization that although I absolutely LOVE being at home with Hannah, I completely and utterly miss my job. Part of me feels so guilty for even saying out loud, "I MISS MY JOB!" But I do. So there. I also believe that I miss being busy. Do not get me wrong, as a Mom I am still busy, but it is a different kind of busy. What I miss, is the crazy jam-packed days where 50 students and 8 teachers are needing me....all at once. I miss being challenged as a professional and I miss my students more than anything. So there. It is out in the open. I love my job. I miss my job. And I am not ashamed of it!

:)