To:

Dear Lady at the 5:00 Step class Tonight,

I can ignore that your pants were 5 inches too short. I can dismiss that they were about to bust at the seams. I can even ignore that you have no rhythm. I actually appreciated you not being able to get your leg on the step half the routine and therefore almost falling....I wish you would have. But what I cannot stand is the amount of times that you farted over-and-over-and-over-again. Tonight's class was a gas chamber because of you. Please don't ever show up again or I will immediately grab my risers and plank and walk out as fast as I can.

Sincerely,

Disgusted with Forever Polluted Lungs