What If....

...Hannah was raised by Justin and his best friend Jeff?

I would hope that for her well-being (and safety) some of my female friends would step in!!

Jeff came up to see the new house the other night and along with him he promised to bring some dinner. Dinner being a huge plate of straight up meat. Nothing else. Just meat. I love meat, don't get me wrong. But watching these two grown men eat meat is like watching a wild animal destroy and devour their prey. (And that statement was probably a compliment to these two guys.) They sucked, tore, grunted and sighed with pure pleasure as they ate. They discussed how great it is to feel like a "wild carnivore." ....is this normal?

Notice the lack in use of their utensils?!?! Just when I think things cannot get any worse, they teach Hannah how to suck meat off the bone.

This all only became full-circle when Hannah farted two times at the dinner table (while the boys hoot and hollered her on) and then completely unprompted, lifted up her shirt to expose her bare belly to Jeff and patted it with satisfaction of a delicious full meal.

When you think things cannot get any worse...think again.

Then it was play time- and at least Hannah had one thing right....

She tried to shut Jeff up by shoving one of Cookie Monster's cookies in his mouth.

:)

I put Hannah down for the night and walked down the stairs to hear Justin and Jeff giggling like little school-girls. (This should have been my first hint to turn and run back up the stairs) But against my better judgement I walked into the living room to see them giggling over HUGE bowls of ice cream. (Because apparently they didn't get enough meat) Their FOUR whopping scoops of ice cream were covered with chocolate, caramel, Reese's peanut butter cups and M & Ms.

So in conclusion...Hannah would basically be raised by two children.

God, please keep me safe.