Well the inevitable is here. I return to work on Monday. (Holy buckets did 7 months sure go fast!) I have to kiss Hannah in the morning and say goodbye for 9.5 hours. Someone else will tuck her in for her naps, pick her up for after-nap snuggles, and possibly be the first to witness new milestones….and all that matters to me is that that person will not be me. Tomorrow will bring unwelcomed emotions. A lot of sadness, sprinkled with some guilt, squeeze in a surprising pinch of excitement and you got yourself one crazy and unstable lady!
I figure that there are a lot of things in life that I may not have a choice in as a parent. Going back to work full-time is not a choice-at this point in time, it is necessary. I have missed my job, my friends, the adult interaction and although part of me looks forward to going back to work, I hate that it is at the cost of my time with Hannah.
Whenever I face an obstacle in life or a hurdle I struggle to overcome I always ask myself one question:
What do I have control over?
Because there is no reason in fretting over what cannot be changed.
Tomorrow I have decided that when my alarm clock wakes me up and I slide out of my warm bed and into my cozy slippers- I do actually have a choice. I have the choice to pick the attitude that will carry me through my first day back at work. And gosh-nabbit- I will already be miserable enough, I sure as heck do not need to perpetuate that feeling onto myself. So I will allow the career-woman side of me to feel excited and happy and I will fight back the motherhood guilt and tears like a warrior.
I will reconnect with the “old Nicole.” Search again for that girl who loved her job, who got her energy from her students and was able to eat lunch, laugh and enjoy life without feeling guilty. I will dust her off, pull her up, (kick her butt if I need to) and get on with life.
As I see it, our lives are in the middle of a transition. One that will take time and adjustments- but in the end we will all be okay. I once read a quote: “Things are always okay in the end. If things are not okay, then it’s not the end.” As a dear friend from the Lion King once said, “Hakuna Matata.”
There are students, staff, and families counting on my return. I owe it to them to be on top of my game. I have received so many e-mails about how excited people are for my return, and absolutely nothing has helped me more than those cheerleaders! So on Monday, I will allow myself to feel and I will acknowledge my feelings, but as soon as I step out of my vehicle and walk into Pinewood- it is game on.
So put away the tears, stash away the pitty-pot and lay out those stylin new work clothes. Dust off that Caribou mug, slip on those heels, throw an extra piece of chocolate in your lunch bag and welcome to the life of a working mom.
....Hakuna Matata.
I figure that there are a lot of things in life that I may not have a choice in as a parent. Going back to work full-time is not a choice-at this point in time, it is necessary. I have missed my job, my friends, the adult interaction and although part of me looks forward to going back to work, I hate that it is at the cost of my time with Hannah.
Whenever I face an obstacle in life or a hurdle I struggle to overcome I always ask myself one question:
What do I have control over?
Because there is no reason in fretting over what cannot be changed.
Tomorrow I have decided that when my alarm clock wakes me up and I slide out of my warm bed and into my cozy slippers- I do actually have a choice. I have the choice to pick the attitude that will carry me through my first day back at work. And gosh-nabbit- I will already be miserable enough, I sure as heck do not need to perpetuate that feeling onto myself. So I will allow the career-woman side of me to feel excited and happy and I will fight back the motherhood guilt and tears like a warrior.
I will reconnect with the “old Nicole.” Search again for that girl who loved her job, who got her energy from her students and was able to eat lunch, laugh and enjoy life without feeling guilty. I will dust her off, pull her up, (kick her butt if I need to) and get on with life.
As I see it, our lives are in the middle of a transition. One that will take time and adjustments- but in the end we will all be okay. I once read a quote: “Things are always okay in the end. If things are not okay, then it’s not the end.” As a dear friend from the Lion King once said, “Hakuna Matata.”
There are students, staff, and families counting on my return. I owe it to them to be on top of my game. I have received so many e-mails about how excited people are for my return, and absolutely nothing has helped me more than those cheerleaders! So on Monday, I will allow myself to feel and I will acknowledge my feelings, but as soon as I step out of my vehicle and walk into Pinewood- it is game on.
So put away the tears, stash away the pitty-pot and lay out those stylin new work clothes. Dust off that Caribou mug, slip on those heels, throw an extra piece of chocolate in your lunch bag and welcome to the life of a working mom.
....Hakuna Matata.
1 comment:
Well Said. :) YAY! Can't wait to see you!
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